Tea with strangers

The Church of St Mary the Virgin at Farleigh, along the Vanguards Way. The whole route is 107km/66 miles finishing by the sea at Newhaven Harbour. [Photo copyright 2009 Brian Bellwood].

This afternoon I walked the first section of the Vanguards Way from East Croydon to Chelsham Common in Surrey. Much of the walking is through woodland and so being shaded from the hot sun made for a very pleasant walk. I'm trying to improve my fitness and break in my hiking boots before heading off for Spain and whilst the Vanguards Way is quite unlike the Way of St James, I did experience the hospitality of strangers!

I was very near the end of my route and had passed the Church of St Mary the Virgin at Fairleigh Court and noted with slight regret that I was too late for the afternoon teas which are served in the church hall on summer Sundays. However, a few moments later as I had finished walking across the church car park, I came to a couple who were sat on fold-up chairs by their car and who spoke to me. They asked if I'd come far, where did I start, was I thirsty, did I want some tea? Earlier in my walk I had exchanged the standard nod of recognition with other walkers as we passed by or made cooing noises at people with pet dogs and even helped to direct someone at one point, but I hadn't really had a conversation with anyone.

And so, there I was, being offered tea and company and all I kept thinking was, but I'd better keep on walking because I'm worried about what time I'll get back home and whether the bus will turn up, and if they give me tea then I'll have to stay and chat and not only am I on a mission, but will I get stuck there making small talk and what will I say? And so twice I declined, saying "thanks" and "it is very kind of you" but somehow this got misinterpreted as a yes. By this point I felt that I could no longer refuse and I also began to realise that my anxieties over saying 'yes' were not really in keeping with my thoughts on hospitality and so I relaxed a little and sat down to have a cup of tea from their thermos flask and have a chat!

Why is it that the idea of hospitality from strangers appeals to me but the reality makes me feel awkward? I'm sure I'm not alone in this. Is it a cultural thing - part of being English? But then the couple were English too. Or is it to do with living in a city? Would I feel more comfortable with this if I had been brought up in the country? And is it to do with the mentality of rushing? - the man at least was retirement age, - it would seem probable that a slower pace of life is more conducive to making time for others.

The Scallop Shell

The emblem of the Camino de Santiago, the scallop shell, or vieira in Spanish, has been worn by medieval and modern pilgrims alike. Traditionally, pilgrims would take a shell back home with them as proof that they had completed the arduous and perilous journey to the tomb of St James in Galicia, Northwest Spain. Much has been written about the association and significance of the scallop shell with the Camino, such as the story about the apostle miraculously rescuing a knight from the sea who emerges covered in scallops. The shell also has metaphorical significance - the grooves of the shell which come together at one point are seen as a metaphor for the different routes pilgrims walk to reach the same destination.

The shell is also thought to have served a functional purpose, for the pilgrim to eat and drink from and it became a type of badge to identify both pilgrims and the places that would welcome them along the way. Both literally and symbolically then the scallop shell became linked with the tradition of hospitality and over time the shell came to represent pilgrimage in general and not just the Way of St James.

Having walked the Camino myself in 2004 I got to experience pilgrim hospitality (and sometimes the lack of it) first hand. People talk about the spirit of the pilgrimage - the spirit of companionship and community, the determination to bear trials and to help others through theirs, the experience of sharing food, time and thoughts with 'strangers', being vulnerable to the elements and open to the unknown - all this and more. And whilst the spirit or values of the Camino cannot be captured in a scallop shell and transported back home, it is my intention to work towards, albeit in a small way, nurturing something of the Camino hospitality here amidst the hustle and bustle of a fast paced London and this blog has been created to further this aim.